If you’re anything like me, you’ve spent more than enough time feeling gross in your own body. Wishing it were different. Getting mad at it for looking a certain way… feeling a certain way. Annoyed with yourself for gaining that extra five pounds. Or maybe it was ten.
Imagine… to go shopping and pick your outfit based on what looks cute and shows off your personality rather than finding something based on what body part it hides.
Imagine… letting your desires and pleasure beacon guide your sex life rather than being distracted by how your body looks in that otherwise passionate moment of lovemaking. .
It seems that we’re living in a world where it’s more common and acceptable to openly shame and talk bad about our bodies than it is to pipe up on how proud we are in them or how sexy we feel.
PS… it’s okay to feel bomb as shit in your own body!!!
In a society where body shaming has become not only acceptable, but seemingly the norm, I see it as my responsibility to be confident in my own body, emanate positive self-esteem and in doing so, set an example for others.
Through my own journey from body hatred to self-confidence, I want to share the seven factors that changed my world, rocked my socks, and that are responsible for the deep self-love I feel and continue to practice today.
1) STOP body shaming. Yourself AND others.
Not muscular enough.
If shaming ourselves actually worked to make our bodies somehow better or make us somehow happier don’t you think we’d all be walking around in our dream body by now? After all, self-shaming seems to be the epidemic of thIs century.
Shaming can sneak itself into our minds without us even knowing. I always try to monitor my shame-o-meter by checking in and seeing how judgmental I’m being towards other people. It can be difficult at times to notice what our own mental chatter is piping up about towards ourselves with the loud voices that go on upstairs, but it’s pretty plain and clear to see when we’re shaming someone else.
Whether it’s out loud in conversation or the voice that pipes up when you’re at the gym or the grocery store, start to pay attention to when you’re criticizing someone else’s body.
Catch that sucker of a judgement and throw it out the window! Out with the shaming! Towards others AND towards ourselves.
Instead, try giving someone a compliment. Building up other’s confidence in turn sends positive feedback to our own minds 😉
2) GET NAKED!!!
Yup, that’s right! Ditch the clothes and strut your stuff! Dance around your room in nothing but your birthday suit!
Being naked is the most natural and beautiful state any person can be in, yet again, our society and standards would have us think otherwise, that our body is something to be ashamed of. That our genitals and nipples are something that should remain hidden away.
I used to feel so uncomfortable naked that I would actually sleep in full sweat pants, a t-shirt and sometimes even a sweater. When I was in a relationship, I would really only get naked before hanky-panky time while I was already laying down or under the covers. This not only kept me feeling hidden and timid, but left my partners frustrated and annoyed which in turn left me feeling even more ashamed and frustrated at myself for not being more confident.
Get naked. By yourself. With your beloved. It doesn’t matter. If prancing around your bedroom in the nude scares the shit out of you, start by sleeping naked. Start to train yourself to get comfortable looking at and being vulnerable in your own nakedness.
PS… your naked-ness is fucking beautiful 😉
3) DITCH the comparisons!
While Instagram would have us believe that the perfect body type is an apple bottom tush, rock hard abs, and plump breasts, the reality is that WE ALL COME IN DIFFERENT SHAPES AND SIZES and developing and practicing an acceptance for the body you have is essential to build and boost your confidence!
News-fucking-flash! How boring would people be if we all looked the same, with no variety in height, weights, and limb structure? There’s countless different body types and they are all beautiful and unique in their own way.
Some of us are big bootied chicks. Some of us have bee-stings for breasts. Some of us have watermelons attached to our chests. Some of us have long lean legs with barley a bum between our thighs and our back. Some of us have short legs and long torsos. Some of us have broad-set shoulders with short necks. You get the point….
I would also like to point out and emphasize that the societal standard for beauty is constantly changing over time anyways so don’t waste your time trying to reach some ideal of someone else’s standard of beauty. One year it’s slender and slim that’s “in” with thigh gaps being the eye of admiration. Then come along the Kardashians and suddenly the complete opposite look is to envy and strive for.
PS… Every shape of your body is beautiful. You are beautiful <3
4) Take RESPONSIBILITY
Part of self-care and self-love is taking care of yourself! Body acceptance and dropping comparisons doesn’t mean you have to stay stuck where you are. It doesn’t mean that you have to surrender to a life of feeling out of shape, under nourished, or lacking in energy.
It’s totally 100% possible to accept where you are right here, right now, decide to love yourself, AND make healthful changes and improvements to your body and your life.
Accepting yourself doesn’t mean that you hand off all responsibility for your own health and life. It means looking at where you’re at, right here, right now, loving the person you are while taking RESPONSIBILITY for the choices you’ve made to get you where you are, keeping those that have worked, and empowering yourself to make better ones where you’ve previously sold yourself short.
All the positive affirmations in the world won’t do shit unless you actually get up off the couch and decide to make a change to how you’ve been living and treating your body.
Continually making these empowered decisions is like flexing your confidence muscle. It gets stronger and stronger the more you use it.
PS…. You DO have a choice! <3
5) ACT AS IF
Yup… the good ol’ fake it til’ you make it! This strategy might seem cliché but I assure you of it’s effectiveness in boosting up your confidence meter.
If you were the most confident and self-assured version of yourself, what would you be doing? How would you speak in conversations? How would you move your body? How would you dress? Would you make more direct eye contact with people? Would you have more conversations with people you don’t know or know very little about?
Get a good, clear and concise vision of how you would carry yourself throughout the day if you were absolutely comfortable in yourself, take these characteristics and act them out in real life.
This not only gives you practice but it actually sends a message to your subconscious mind that you already are that which you are trying to create. The more you do this, the better!
Again, it’s like that muscle that grows bigger and stronger the more it is worked and flexed.
PS… no one will know you’re “fakin’” it so relax, have fun, and act the part!
You need no one’s permission to be bold, beautiful and sexy. Consider THIS your written permission to go out there, hold your head high, your shoulders back, and EXPRESS yourself as the divine creature you are. Consider THIS your hall pass to start feeling, living, and breathing confidence even if you don’t believe it quite yet.